Views of our national capital.

Before continuing, I'll explain here that Canberra has two city centres, so in order to avoid confusion Canberrans call the seat of Federal Parliament "Capital Hill" on south of Lake Burley Griffin, and the commercial and banking city area "Civic", on the north bank. They are linked by a bridge road called Commonwealth Avenue. Most of the attractions in Canberra are in the Capital Hill region.

I thought I'd use this post to explain some of the oddities one or two of my friends have heard about already by mobile phone. So if this is old ground, you know who you are. :)

1. Conversation on bus yesterday. From back - tall guy in black shirt, about 18, two rough looking guys in their late 30s or early 40s (Man and Other Man), to their right a mid-teen couple (Boy and Girl) who are making out on the seat. I was sitting directly in front of them, and to my left (to the men's front) was a stately looking middle aged lady (Lady). Everyone I've repeated it to thinks it's the funniest yet.

Man: You know what pisses me off?
Other Man: What, mate?
Man: Wankers.
Other Man: Yeah.
Man: They're everywhere. Wankers everywhere you go.
Other Man: Too true, mate.
Man: Wankers, wankers, wankers. Can't get away from them.

[Boy stops making out with Girl just long enough to say]

Boy: Hey, would you mind toning down the language a bit?
Man: Are you offended by "wankers"?
Boy: Yes, I am.
Man: Would "tossers" be better? Would you be offended by "tossers"?

[Guy at back and me laugh softly so as not to attract attention. Men fall silent for about 3-4 mins]

Other Man: We've been on f##king welfare for 20 years.
Man: Yeah, it pisses me off, you know?

Lady: I'm offended too. If you don't stop talking like that, I'm going to have to get a higher authority, and they'll do something about it. Just you see.

[Men shake heads, boy at back and me laugh a little]
[Boy and Girl get off bus]
[Men stay silent all the way to Woden, where Lady gets off. Once she's off:]

Man: F##king wanker.

[Other man shakes head, then they alight from bus.]


2. Christmas carols at Woden shopping centre. In keeping with the fact that most people listen to rap here (apparently there was a riot at a cinema when a recent movie preview with Dr Dre (EDIT: 'Training Day') aired and only a certain number of people could get preview tickets), they have jazzed up the children's choir a bit by adding a boom box. Hearing the children sing in time with the boombox was somewhere between amusing and vastly depressing. The teachers told me they'd been training for 3 weeks. It was apparently supposed to mean Christmas was relevant even in the present day.


3. A certain fast food outlet - I won't say where it was as I perfectly understand the teens' predicament.

Man: I'd like a meal deal.
Female Cashier (about 15): Certainly, sir. Would you like ketchup with that?
Man: No, but I'd like a tomato sauce.
Cashier: Yes, certainly, one ketchup.
Man: No! I said tomato sauce. What part of that don't you understand?
Cashier: We have to call it ketchup, sir. [Quietly - but I was nearby] I hope you understand, but we are not allowed to call it anything other than ketchup, you can get fired for less.
Man: OK. [Spitefully] Ketchup, then. You have lemon squash?
Cashier: Lift or Sprite?
Man: Just lemon squash would be fine.
Cashier: Well, we have Lift, and we have Sprite.
Man: Don't bother. I'll go to KFC where they don't go in for this American crap.

[Man leaves store]

Obviously he doesn't know what that K stands for :)